sad feelings and kinda pissed

okay well today wasnt really that great at all. it started off okay you know i woke up and went to work and i had planned on my friend amber to come over and come swimmin and then we invited this guy named TJ but in order for him to come he had to bring someone else named alan. i knew alan like years ago from when he went to daycare and i didnt even like him then. alan has reallllllly bad ADHD problems and on top of that he's annoying. well amber and TJ are kinna together but kinna not. TJ is pretty hot for a redneck too but he's like me a lot bc i mean we agree on alot of things. and we both listen to the same music (country,rap/hip-hop, rock) so on and so forth...okay we were all swimmin and alan was just really pissin me off like he curses WAY TOO MUCH!!!!!!! for me. i dont mind it bc i live w/ it all the time but he just does it like a ton more than im used to and i told him over and over again to like slack of w/ sayin it soo much. well he really didnt do much of any changing so when they were leavin i told TJ that i didnt appreciate it at all and if he was gonna be like that then he couldnt come over anymore. and yeah so other than that nothing happened. im really worried about audra bc i havent talked to her in a while and i've had a really weird feelin like sumpin bad has happened to her and so imma keep trying to get a hold of her. but im really sleepy so imma gonna go to sleep now bc i gotta work tomorrow!

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them
knowing you can't have them.
I feel kinda like that right now. Its the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life.
My granny is in the hospital and i dont think that she will live much longer but im not gonna stop praying and i cant help but to think that i've let her down so much b/c i havent visited her very much in the past few years. i dont know why but im feelin like i blame myself for that and well which i do need to be the one to blame b/c its my own fault. i just hope that she will be okay b/c she cant let go now its not her time. please pray for her.